Captain Cat R. Waul and his Henchmen
Neverland is a small island and one the sea was a lonely pirate ship and we hear singing going on there. We zoom in on the ship and see Cat R. Waul's henchmen set up a flag of the Jolly Roger on the mast. Cat R. Waul's Henchmen: Oh a feline's life is a wonderful life A-rovin' over the sea Give me a career as a domestic cat It's the life of a feline for me Oh, the life of a feline for me Some cats are playing with darts on a picture of a crude drawing of Cat R. Waul on a door. Cat R. Waul's Henchmen: Oh, a feline's life is a wonderful life They never bury your bones For when it's all over A jolly sea rover drops in on his friend Warren T. Just about then, the door opened and a spider with an orange mustache, wearing a brown cowboy hat with a blue patch on it, eight brown cowboy boots, a matching vest, and a blue bandana with white polka dots, named Chula, came out. Chula and Cat R. Waul's Henchmen: Oh, my good friend Warren T. "Good morning, ship mates." Chula said only to get caught by a first cat gangster. "And what's good about it, Chula?" asked the first cat gangster. "Here we are collecting barnacles on this miserable island!" the second cat gangster said. "While his nibs plays ring-around-the rosy with Fievel Mousekewitz." the third cat gangster said sticking his gun at Chula. "Look out there. Might go off!" Chula panicked but got his neck in a rope knot by the fourth cat gangster. "We ought to be tending to the business of looting ships." the fourth one said. "Why, I've almost forgotten how to slit a throat." the fifth cat gangster said, using his dagger and got Chula free. "Better drop it." the sixth cat gangster said as they all threw daggers at the stairs as Chula tried to avoid them. "And tell the captain we want to put to sea, Chula!" the second one said. All the cats laughed as Chula stuck out his tongue and walked away. A cat with brown fur and green eyes, wearing a red cape, a top hat, a white shirt, and a monocle on his right eye was looking at a map. He is Cat R. Waul. He had one of his paws cut off by Fievel and now has a silver hook and now he want revenge. "Blast that Fievel Mousekewitz!" Cat R. Waul snarled. "If I could only find his hideout, I'd trap him in his lair. But where is it?" He starts to look at the map "Mermaid lagoon? No, we searched that. We've combed Cannibal Cove. But here!" He stuck his silver hook at the far north west on the map but then groaned "No, no, no, no. That's Ham-Ham territ… But wait…" he took a good closer at the map "Those hamsters know this island better than I do me own ship. Ah, I wonder…" At that moment, Chula walked in. "Good morning, captain." "I'VE GOT IT!" Cat R. Waul cheered as he grabbed Chula with his hook pulled him closer "Bijou Ham-Ham, Chula!" "B-B-Bijou Ham-Ham, boss?" Chula asked, very afraid. "Hamtaro's love interest!" Cat R. Waul said, "She'll know where Fievel is hiding." "B-B-But-But will she talk, boss?" asked Chula as Cat R. Waul let go. "Oh, a little persuasion might be in order.. Now let me see. Boiling in oil? Uh, keelhauling? Marooning?" Cat R. Waul said as he thought as another cat gangster named Felonius was singing horribly with his accordion. Oh, a feline's life Is a wonderful life You'll find adventure and sport But live every minute For all that is in it The life of a feline is short Oh, the life Having enough of his singing, Cat R. Waul got out a gun and aimed it. As Chula got the shaving pack ready, the shot was heard and Chula heard a accordion fall and splashed in the water. He took a look only to get splashed in the face. Cat R. Waul put away his gun. "Now let me see, where was I?" asked Cat R. Waul. "Oh dear, dear, dear boss. Shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza? It ain't good form, you know." Chula said. "Good form, Chula?" asked Cat R. Waul in a smooth voice first, and then yell angrily as he pushed the table aside and approached Chula and waving his hook. "BLAST GOOD FORM! DID FIEVEL SHOW GOOD FORM WHEN HE DID THIS TO ME?!" "Why boss, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank you might say." Chula said as he removed Cat R. Waul's cape. "Aye, but throwing it to those eels! Those cursed beasts liked the taste of me so well they've followed me ever since licking their chops for the rest of me!" Cat R. Waul said loudly at first and then said in a low voice as he sat down in the chair which Chula brought. "And he's had you by now, boss, if one of them hadn't swallowed that alarm clock. But now when they're about, they warn you, as you might say with his tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock." Chula said. Speaking off tick-tock, there was a sound of tick-tocking heard. Chula and Cat R. Waul heard it. Cat R. Waul's face was in fear. There below his ship were two eels named Flotsam and Jetsam. "Well, what do we have here, now?" Flotsam said, "It's the delicious, yummy Cat R. Waul. We're going to eat him!" When they saw Cat R. Waul, the two eels licked their mouths, hungry for a cat. Cat R. Waul screamed. "CHULA!" He screamed as he leapt into Chula's arms "Oh, save me, Chula! Please don't let them get me, Chula! Please! Don't let them get me, Chula! Chula!" He hid behind a chair while Chula went to Flotsam and Jetsam. "Here now, shame on you two, upsetting the poor captain. There'll be no handouts today." "Oh, come on, Chula!" Jetsam pleaded, "May we please eat Cat R. Waul just one bite?" "No," replied Chula. "Shoo now, shoo. Go on, go on. Off with you, I say. Go away. Go away, out of here!" And as he said that, Flotsam and Jetsam went away. "Oh, well!" he sighed, "We'll eat him next time." Cat R. Waul appeared from behind the sheet of the chair. "A-A-Are they gone, Chula?" he said in a scared voice. "Aye, Boss. All clear. Nothing to worry about." Chula said as he tried to relax his shaking captain. "Oh, Chula, Chula. I can't stand it any longer. I tell you I can't!" Cat R. Waul said as Chula sat him down on the chair. "Now, now, now, Captain, just relax. What you need is a shave, a nice soothing shave. There now" Chula said as he put a towel around Cat R. Waul's head. The cat sighed. A seagull saw the towel and sat on it and fell asleep as Chula sang. Is a wonderful life a-sailing over the seas give me a career as a buc… Chula didn't see that he was putting shaving cream on the seagull's bottom. "Captain, you know, I can't help noticing you just aunt been your usual jolly self of late." He picked up a razor and wiped it on a towel "Give a career as a buccaneer… And the crew's getting? a might uneasy, Captain. That is, what's left of it. Hmm." He was using the razor on the seagull's bottom and it wiped out her feathers. "Now why don't we put to sea, see? Leave Neverland. Forget Fievel Mousekewitz. There now!" he put some aftershave on the seagull's bottom. The seagull woke up and in horror, flew away covering her behind. Chula didn't see her go because he was putting some power on his hand. "Give me a career as a buccaneer… We'll all be a lot happier, not to mention a lot healthier. Oh!" He put his hands out only to find out he was doing it in mid air. "Captain? Oh dear! I never shaved him this close before." He never dared to look, so he didn't to look for it under the chair. "Don't worry captain, it must be somewhere about." He begin to walk off with the chair carrying him. The towel fell from Cat R. Waul's face and he looked down to see Chula making a fool of himself crawling to find something. "Get up, you clumsy spider!" Cat R. Waul snapped. "Aye, aye, sir!" Chula said knocking the chair and Cat R. Waul to one side of the ship. Chula turned around to see him dazed. "Oh, I found it, boss. Good as new." He tried to pull his head off only for Cat R. Waul to wake up very angry. "Why, you bumbling bug!" Cat R. Waul cried, as he held Chula by the bandana and was about to kill him when… "Fievel Mousekewitz, ahoy!" the seventh cat gangster called from the watcher. "What? What? Where away?" Cat R. Waul asked. "Three points off the starboard bow!" the fifth one called. Cat R. Waul looked through his telescope and saw Fievel with Olivia, Bambi, and Thumper. "Swoggle me eyes, it is Fievel! Headed this way with his girlfriend and her brothers! Chula, pipe up the crew!" "Aye, aye, sir! Pipe up the crew! Pipe up the crew! All hands on deck!" He said as he whistled "All hands on deck! All hands on deck! All hands on deck!" All the pirates rose up and got into action. "Look alive, you swabs! We've got him this time, Chula!" He said as he put on his red coat. "That we have captain". Cat R. Waul called to his henchmen. "Man the Long Tom, you bilge rats!" He went to Chula and put on his red top hat. "I've waited years for this." "That's not counting the holidays either." Chula said. "Double the powder and shorten the fuse!" Cat R. Waul ordered as two of his henchmen got the cannon ready. "Double the powder and shorten the fuse!" Chula repeated. "A pretty sight, Chula. Like sitting ducks. All right, men! Range: 42!" Cat R. Waul said as he used his telescope to pin point Fievel, Olivia, Bambi, and Thumper on a cloud viewing Neverland. "Range: 42!" Chula said. "Elevation: 65!" Cat R. Waul ordered as Chula repeated after him. "Three degrees west!" Chula repeated again. "Steady now!" This time, Chula didn't repeat. He covered his head with his hat and covered his ears. "Steady!" Category:Fan Fiction Category:Peter Pan Category:Peter Pan parodies